Sunday, June 14, 2009

First week of Asa's life (August 14-21, 2007)

So I made it through the c-section and heard Asa's cry for the first time. As soon as I heard Asa's cry, it was sound and a feeling that I will never forget. As soon as I heard him, I just started crying and breathing so fast because I was relieved that he was alright. IT was like I have been holding my breath for the past 9 months and when he was finally taken out of my body, I finally let it out. IT was a great feeling. So, Andy brought him over to me quickly, just fast enough for the doctor to take our first family photo, and then Andy, the nurse, and Asa all went into the nursery like normal. So after the nurses and doctors sewed me up and cleaned me off, I was taken to the recovery room. I was with 2 nurses at the time. They were monitoring my vitals. I heard them whispering to each other back and forth but my mind was completely on Asa. I kept thinking to myself, "I didn't get a good look at him.", "where is my mom?", "where is Andy?", my thoughts were going 90 to nothing from 12:43pm until 2pm that Tuesday afternoon. After recovering in the recovery room, I was soon wheeled down back to my room where Andy had already placed 2 dozen long stem roses. No one in my family was in the room yet. I did not think much about it though because I had peace of mind knowing that they were just oohing and aahing over my sweet little Asa. Finally Andy came in the room shortly after and he told me that they wanted to give him a bath but when they laid Asa down flat on the table, his heart rate goes down, his pulse ox goes down, and when they pick him up, he is fine. Andy then told me to not worry. I said, "So, when will I see him?". Andy said, "Just as soon as they bathe him." He then kissed me on my forehead and told me how wonderful I did and he said he would be right back and that he was going to go check on Asa. The nurses came in and gave me some pain medicine and I was soon fast asleep, but for a very short time. My family, Andy's family, friends, etc. soon followed after. Then, Andy came back in with a look that I will never forget to this day.. I have seen my husband frustrated, mad, happy, and embarrassed and I know his looks like my own, but this one was different. It was a look of shock and confusement. I knew immediately that something was very very wrong. He told me that they had to move Asa to the ICU because they can not get his heart rate to stop dropping when they tried to bathe him or lay him down . He said, they have called the pediatrician and he is own his way to see Asa. This was around 3:30 that day.

After Andy told me this, my blood pressure went through the roof. It was like 220/160. I am not kidding. My lips began to swell. I started to breathe fast. I had 10, 000 questions going through my mind. This was the first time I truly believe that Satan tried to get in my way of my special assignment. He was already trying to weaken me. I didn't know that was him at that time, but I do now, more than ever!!!! My family was soon whisked away out of my room and a sign was placed on my door that showed "NO VISITORS." The doctor came in and gave me some medicine and stabilized my blood pressure. I was soon knocked out from all the meds and stress of the day. I never saw my Asa on his birthday, maybe for just one second, but I never held him, kissed him, looked at his toes, NOTHING. The thought of this brings me to tears as I am writing. It was not suppose to be like this.

I soon awoke early the next morning around 2am when the tech came into give me meds, check my blood pressure, the whole thing...I felt the pain of the c-section then more than ever! I asked for something to drink which she soon brought and as she lifted my bed to help me drink, I started to cry. I could not even take one swallow. I will never forget this lady. She was a black woman, around 50 or so, and she was sort of heavy set. She had a comforting way about her. She called me sugar and baby, which reminded me of my mother. When she saw me crying, she then asked why. I told her that I have not seen my baby yet. I want to see him. I know its 2am in the morning but is there anyway I can be wheeled down to the ICU to see him? She then looked at me puzzled and said" What do you mean you haven't seen your baby? Gosh, yes woman! I will take you down there myself. That is your baby! They should have taken you down to see YOUR baby!". She soon helped me get out of bed into a wheel chair. She wheeled me down the many long hallways until I reached the ICU. She buzzed me in and I heard her say " I have Asa Dow's mother." WOW! I thought that was so cool! I was his mother! IT was great. They soon let me in and around the corner of the room laid the most precious thing I have ever seen in my entire that very moment, as I moved the wheelchair as close to the incubator as I could, I felt a weight on my shoulder like someone was behind me, but now I know it was Asa's angel who was going to help me be Asa's mother..


  1. Carolyn...I have no idea the struggles you have been going through. Your writing is beautiful and I can't wait to read more! I will keep you and your family and sweet little man in my thoughts and prayers!
    Love Colleen