Today the pre-op nurse called from the Surgery Center where Asa will be having some of his procedures done next week. I was on the phone with her for almost an hour going over past medical history, medications, etc. about Asa for the anesthesia. During the conversation with the nurse, whose name was Sherry, I had an unwelcome visitor come into my mind that made me feel so frustrated, doubtful, sorry, and anxious. I became easily frustrated with this pre-op nurse who was only doing her job, but I get so tired of answering the same questions over and over again, that I start to think that NO ONE (meaning doctors, nurses, etc.) read Asa's charts, notes, medical records, etc. I mean, sometimes I get so frustrated with the actual process and routines that sometimes I ask myself if these people really know what they are doing. Is the reason why Asa does not have a true diagnosis because these doctors don't read anything that they ask for me to send them. Anyways, as I mentioned earlier I said that I felt an unwelcome visitor come into my mind that made me feel this way. We all know who that was...the stupid devil!!!!! I hate him with a passion!!!!! He is always trying to get in my way and bring me down. HE filled my head with negative thoughts today and got in the way of my special assignment. It really pissed me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, after the conversation with the pre-op nurse and several others, I became very nervous about the week ahead of us. I am just dreading it really, I truly am...I just am dreading what he will have to endure next week. I went out and bought him a doctor's kit, the old-fashioned kind, and I played doctor with him. HE does not mind the stethoscope, but he hates the thermometer, blood pressure pump, and the play syringe. HE was not very interested though in playing with the tools-besides he has seen enough of the real ones already. I know I seem to ramble but on days like today when I do get down and out, I have to remind myself that there is absolutely nothing I can do but what I am doing right now with my Asa. I must not get frustrated with the process because it is all for Asa. Yes, it is repetitive...Yes, it is strict...Yes, it is costly....and Yes, it is tiring at times....but like I said before, Asa is my destiny and for that I will continue doing everything I can for him. Thanks for listening.